English as a Second Challenge

English is not an emotional language to me. Well it is not yet. I know it has its own vocabulary to express deep feelings when you are in love or have one of those sad moments. All people around the world are thinking the same way when it comes to emotional feelings, that's what I am sure of. They might act differently but think the same way for sure. But are they talking in the same way as well? For sure not. And unfortunately I am wee bit far away from those emotional vocabulary. I know how to swear or use F word or other bad words because these are the main words you learn in every new language! But when I have to express my deep feelings about something or someone, I just can't say anything. It keeps me thinking most of the times to find out why on earth I just can not talk about things I love or hate, in English. I guess I know the reason. One is my English language for sure. But it is not the main reason. The most important reason is that I am not sure how to react. In other words, I do not have enough confidence about my behavior. We were different. We used to be different. We had very strong emotions and we could easily love or hate. Here words have weights. My son says that "hate" is a strong word. It means that it is kind of rude if you use it while you can say it in a nice way. What other words are strong? I am not sure yet. On top of this I have a very bad habit that do not want to look or sound weird or stupid. Because I am not and I never was! This sometimes make me do something or act in a way that is not real me. It is someone else. A very nice person who does not say any words and does not use any "strong" words or does not even make a joke to tease anyone. Which is good but it is kind of boring. I sound a bit weird and that's what I was trying not to be. It's funny. Life is kind of funny.
Well there should be always a reason for a challenge in the life. That is why we feel alive. Life without a challenge sucks. Whoops! Is "sucks" a strong word?