The eyes

I am not sure when and how these things became "good manner" in our culture. Things like "lower your eyes when you talk to people" to show how polite you are. Or "being shy" as a positive attitude that shows how good your parents raised you. These sort of things. But as long as I remember I have always tried not to look at the eyes of the person who I am talking to. Good or bad I am not trying to judge, this is me. It should not be just a matter of religious cause I remember it since I was a kid and people at that time, I mean almost 30 years ago, where not trying to be "that religious" as they are now.
Imagine how embarrassed I became the first time I noticed every single person in Australia look straight in my eyes when they talk to me. It may sound stupid but I even shivered and trembled when that muscle with his deep-as-ocean blue eyes, spiky hair and smiley face asked me what he could do for me, well he was a cashier in Kmart ! But I had a difficult time! It is hard as it is completely different from what I have done and been told all my life. It is hard to realise that difference as well. Mainly because you are not looking at people while you are talking to them for the first couple of months, probably, and it will take time to notice they are looking at you when they are talking to you! Harder than that is to accept the difference and change your mentality. But whether I like it or not, people here respect confidence. Looking at the eyes is a sign of confidence I never had, or at least this is what I guess. You can't live here and look at the wall or ground when you talk to your colleague. He will think 1) you are crazy 2) you are rude 3) you are insane! No matter how hard you try to convince yourslef that you do not care what people think about you, it will matter how people treat you if you want to socialise with them.

New friends

Next time, if you are going to use "my" words to convince me, remember I hate being played. I will even reject myself to make you think about what I said. Well, I do not become angry or annoyed, I just do it as I do not like to be tricked. And remember I do not like surprises. Being honest and frank is what I like most in friendship. What do you like about yourself or your friends?

English as a Second Challenge

English is not an emotional language to me. Well it is not yet. I know it has its own vocabulary to express deep feelings when you are in love or have one of those sad moments. All people around the world are thinking the same way when it comes to emotional feelings, that's what I am sure of. They might act differently but think the same way for sure. But are they talking in the same way as well? For sure not. And unfortunately I am wee bit far away from those emotional vocabulary. I know how to swear or use F word or other bad words because these are the main words you learn in every new language! But when I have to express my deep feelings about something or someone, I just can't say anything. It keeps me thinking most of the times to find out why on earth I just can not talk about things I love or hate, in English. I guess I know the reason. One is my English language for sure. But it is not the main reason. The most important reason is that I am not sure how to react. In other words, I do not have enough confidence about my behavior. We were different. We used to be different. We had very strong emotions and we could easily love or hate. Here words have weights. My son says that "hate" is a strong word. It means that it is kind of rude if you use it while you can say it in a nice way. What other words are strong? I am not sure yet. On top of this I have a very bad habit that do not want to look or sound weird or stupid. Because I am not and I never was! This sometimes make me do something or act in a way that is not real me. It is someone else. A very nice person who does not say any words and does not use any "strong" words or does not even make a joke to tease anyone. Which is good but it is kind of boring. I sound a bit weird and that's what I was trying not to be. It's funny. Life is kind of funny.
Well there should be always a reason for a challenge in the life. That is why we feel alive. Life without a challenge sucks. Whoops! Is "sucks" a strong word?

Here I am

Well this is the first post in this blog and I am not sure what to say. I suppose I have to introduce myself first. Not many things to tell. A very ordinary woman tried to live a normal life in her early 30's in a country which is unfortunately not known for its beautiful landscapes, for its delicious food, for its lovely family members and friends, for its rich literature and such a long history and heritage, but sadly is known for its nuclear enrichment activities. I am from Iran. A land used to be called Persia.
It is a long story why I chose not to live in my homeland and decided to abandon my beloved family and I am sure you are not here to read all my story in a single post, but anyway I am here in beautiful lovely Sydney, Australia with my husband and my gorgeous little son.
I will write about my life, my thoughts and whatever drives me to write.